Long-term Goals and Priorities
training priorities
Hey folks, I hope you're having a good day, week, month, year, and life.
Twenty years ago, I was in a self-defense class and a woman kicked my right knee backwards as hard as she could. I was wearing a red man suit we'd borrowed from a Jiujitsu student who was a deputy sheriff. His department had just gotten the red man suit (which was purple) and he wanted to try it out. So, I put it on and got beaten up about three times each by a class of 25 college students.
The problem with this red purple man suit was that the head protection was two overlapping pieces which limited my field of vision to a small rectangle, kind of like being in a tank. At about one hour into my continuous beating, I picked this woman up from behind. She proceeded to kick my shins with her heels until I let go and then she completely disappeared. She had bent forward, and back thrust kicked my right knee with her right heel. I had no way to see it coming or prepare for the impact. It hurt and it worked. I'm guessing it looked pretty bad because everyone went, "Ooooohh!!" as my knee bent the wrong way and I fell down. I got up, said good job and continued to get beaten up.
Two weeks ago, I woke up and I couldn't bend or straighten my right knee very well and it hurt. This was a complete surprise as it had never given me trouble before. I'd hurt the left knee a handful of times, but I was trying to think of what I'd done to the right that would result in this new painful, inconvenient condition.
That was the first time I'd thought of this in about twenty years. And I wondered if this would be worth it if I had damaged my leg so badly that it would hurt and limit my mobility for the rest of my life. That's the question I'd like you to consider.
"What's worth being in pain for the rest of your life?"
Today I was thinking of something that happened to me I wanted to discuss with a mentor next week. A friend recently told me how easy my life had been because of all the innate privileges and advantages I'd been given. I politely disagreed and gave examples of why I felt this way. Upon hearing those points she reconsidered and retracted her statement. I've known this friend for about five years, and I could not think of her name; It took me about five minutes to remember it again.
Twenty-five years ago, I went back to karate for the first time since I was a kid and we started fighting full contact a couple times a month. We called it Bogu Kumite and we wore gloves, a chest protector, and a helmet that looked similar to kendo gear. Once that gear went on everything you'd consider 'karate' completely disappeared. All we did was try and punch each other in the head as hard as we could. Numerous times I spent the day after too nauseous to drink coffee or eat. Looking back now I know that I received multiple concussions. It took this long but it's starting to catch up to me. Absolutely nobody thinks it's cool when I tell them I have brain damage from doing 'full contact karate.' Actually, quite the opposite, they think it sounds old timey and stupid. What do you think? Do you think they're right?
"What's worth having limited mental function for the rest of your life?"
Last year I watched an extremely disturbing and violent video once. I haven't watched it since. A grappling instructor got behind a student in a turtle position, tied up his arms and legs and then did a forward roll putting all their weight on the student's neck, breaking it sideways, completely paralyzing him from the neck down. That young man is a head in a jar for the rest of his life. He received a 50-million-dollar settlement for his troubles. Was that a good trade?
I know two guys in my city who are going to have complete knee replacements before they turn forty. Both got injured grappling or 'training for MMA.' I mentioned this video to one of them and asked him to be careful. He said the coach at his grappling school had mentioned the video in class and blamed the student for 'turning his head the wrong way.'
I've been in martial arts for about thirty years, from about 84 to 90 and then from 99 to now, about as long as the friend I just mentioned has been alive, and I've never seen anything like this. People are accepting horrible, permanent damage and lifelong injury as part and parcel of practicing martial arts. Even worse, they're disavowing all responsibility from the people who give these injuries to their training partners. They act like it's nothing. They express absolutely zero empathy.
Is this the environment you want to train in? Is this what you want to trade years of your life for?
The instructor I took over teaching for before I quit Judo had both his hips replaced before he turned 50. Does anyone hear that and think that makes him cool or tough? Or are they taken aback and puzzled as to why someone would need that operation at such a young age? Replacing your hips or knees is going to make you more sedentary, less active, and quickly reduce your quality of life. If your owner brought you into the human vet in a couple years for a quality of life evaluation they'd probably advise them to euthanize you like an old cat. How many years of your life are you losing to this?
What's worth shortening your life for? What's worth being in constant pain over? Is it to appease that guy whose podcast you listen to who tells you you're 'not a real man' like him if you don't absorb full contact head shots and pajama wrestle with idiots who injure each other constantly? That guy isn't doing that either. Just because he does commentary for MMA doesn't mean he's a fighter. If you've watched MMA for a couple decades you have just as much authority about it as he does. Feel free to ask him if he's going to be at the gym tomorrow getting his face caved in with Lethwei headbutts and see what he says. It's pretty hardcore right? And it's cool right now, so why not get hurt doing it?
In ten or twenty years when you're using a rascal to get around the grocery store nobody's going to care that you got hurt wrestling in pajamas or getting hit in the head. They're just going to see you as someone who's in their way with ridiculously bad judgement. Almost nothing I got hurt doing has stayed 'cool.' I don't get my own parking spot, I don't get asked for autographs, and the people training martial arts now think anyone who did anything different than the current fad isn’t as enlightened as they are; I know, I used to be one of them. At one time full contact karate was the cool tough guy thing to do. So was Judo. So was full contact stick fighting. So were heel hooks. Now it's all tired old news. Nobody cares anymore.
If you were training in your basement or garage and someone broke your friend's knee sideways or paralyzed them, what would you and your friends do about it? Would you invite the person back like it was nothing? Or would you take them out back and curb stomp them for almost killing your best friend?
It might seem odd training in a basement, backyard or garage at first, but you're responsible for your actions there. You may not be invited back if you show everyone that you're reckless and unsafe. There's no Sensei there avoiding a real job who needs to take money from the students he should be kicking out for endangering everyone else. I'm not sure why that changes in a commercial gym but I've seen it multiple times and you probably have too. There's always that clumsy guy who's a fixture at the gym, usually because he has nowhere else to go, nobody else who will put up with him.
For as brutal as the techniques in Carnie wrestling can look at first, if you look again, you'll see that there's a lot of control available when applying the pressure. There's a reason for that. Safety counts. It's probably the most important element of training for me. If you don't have that people will get nervous and they'll be right to feel that way. But if you have a safe training environment everyone can have fun and get better.
When I started catch wrestling and judo matwork 25 years ago, nobody ever got hurt from it. I don't know what changed or why it's been allowed to happen. But it isn't right, and I think it's unacceptable. I hope you do too. Life's too short to walk around hurt just because you wanted to train.
Welcome to Carnie. You're responsible for your actions and the safety of your partners here. Hopefully you'll be happy to hear that.